“We should always have at least 4 Batmans happening simultaneously.”

Mordo denies reports that he was stuck in a crevice and missed the whole thing.

Danny Rand has spent the past several years hopefully sitting by the phone so he doesn’t miss a call from Marvel.

“I made a name for myself in X-Men for getting less to do as the movies went on and I really wanted to capture that magic again in Sonic."

"The three billionaires have been locked in competition to uselessly go to space in a wasteful display of dominance." (Satire)

Ikaris (not even the leader of the team he’s currently on) assured us he was fully capable of leading this A-list team of heroes. (Satire)

In a never ending parade of bad news out of Gotham, cases of Joker Gas infection are on the rise again. (Satire)

“We want to see if we really are truly incapable of failing,” said President of Marvel Studios Kevin Feige. (Satire)

Gotham is currently experiencing a shortage of 100,000+ skilled construction workers due to the high demand industry of lair construction.

“There is only one way to watch Star Wars. And that is alone before dawn, half-asleep, squeezing it in before you have to shower for work.”

“This usually takes a few hours, tops,” Wolverine said to the press. “I’ve cured stuff before it’s even happened. What’s taking so long!”

"When it became apparent that 2020 was filled with gloom and very little happiness we knew it’d be perfect to join DC's slate of projects."

"I didn’t bother to vote once and man, those results felt like a crowbar to the face, and then a bomb to the remaining parts of my body.”

“I think what fans are going to really love is that it’s legally different from The Walking Dead flagship show." (Satire)

Batman told reporters, "I let the Robins live with me but I always keep a safe distance from them, both physically and emotionally.”

"These gentle creatures went from a peaceful existence making spice in the desert to being corralled by the hundreds for a movie." (Satire)

“Yes, when it comes to Sentinels there are a few bad apples in the bunch, but I don’t know the rest of that expression.” (Satire)

We have word from Warner Bros that the Snyder Cut of Justice League will indeed be released, with a new director at the helm. (Satire)

“I guess this might come out sometime,” said the official Marvel Entertainment Twitter account. (Satire)

Intrepid journalist Jimmy Olsen sits down with Mr. Stroke to discuss his recent career moves. (Satire)