Satire

Aug 10, 2022

Meet the New DCEU, Nevermind That’s Been Cancelled Too

“We should always have at least 4 Batmans happening simultaneously.”

May 8, 2022

Illuminati Members Really Wish This Meeting Had Been An Email

Mordo denies reports that he was stuck in a crevice and missed the whole thing.

Jan 7, 2022

Iron Fist Wonders When Marvel Will Call (They Won’t)

Danny Rand has spent the past several years hopefully sitting by the phone so he doesn’t miss a call from Marvel.

Dec 10, 2021

James Marsden Reprises His Role As Man Being Phased Out of Sequels

“I made a name for myself in X-Men for getting less to do as the movies went on and I really wanted to capture that magic again in Sonic."

Jul 13, 2021

Evil Billionaire Space Race Heats Up Between Osborn, Hammer and Fisk

"The three billionaires have been locked in competition to uselessly go to space in a wasteful display of dominance." (Satire)

May 25, 2021

Brave White Guy Willing To Waltz In And Take Top Job At Company He Didn’t Help Build

Ikaris (not even the leader of the team he’s currently on) assured us he was fully capable of leading this A-list team of heroes. (Satire)

May 13, 2021

Bruce Wayne Opposes Lifting Patents On Life Saving Joker Gas Vaccines

In a never ending parade of bad news out of Gotham, cases of Joker Gas infection are on the rise again. (Satire)

May 3, 2021

Marvel Greenlights Fantastic Four Movie Just To Feel Something Again

“We want to see if we really are truly incapable of failing,” said President of Marvel Studios Kevin Feige. (Satire)

Apr 9, 2021

Can Gotham Handle The Lair Construction Boom?

Gotham is currently experiencing a shortage of 100,000+ skilled construction workers due to the high demand industry of lair construction.

Dec 19, 2020

Everyone Got Up At Dawn To Watch The Mandalorian Except You

“There is only one way to watch Star Wars. And that is alone before dawn, half-asleep, squeezing it in before you have to shower for work.”

Dec 9, 2020

Wolverine Doesn’t Understand Why Vaccine Made From His Blood Taking So Long (Bub)

“This usually takes a few hours, tops,” Wolverine said to the press. “I’ve cured stuff before it’s even happened. What’s taking so long!”

Nov 1, 2020

2020 Officially Bleak Enough to Be Part of The DCEU

"When it became apparent that 2020 was filled with gloom and very little happiness we knew it’d be perfect to join DC's slate of projects."

Sep 27, 2020

Jason Todd Can’t Emphasize Enough How Important It Is To Vote

"I didn’t bother to vote once and man, those results felt like a crowbar to the face, and then a bomb to the remaining parts of my body.”

Sep 13, 2020

The Walking Dead Somehow Both Renewed and Cancelled at the Same Time

“I think what fans are going to really love is that it’s legally different from The Walking Dead flagship show." (Satire)

Sep 5, 2020

Batman Tests Positive For Covid Despite Claiming To Have Been Self-Isolating His Entire Life

Batman told reporters, "I let the Robins live with me but I always keep a safe distance from them, both physically and emotionally.”

Jul 13, 2020

PETA Protests Dune Over Sandworm Mistreatment

"These gentle creatures went from a peaceful existence making spice in the desert to being corralled by the hundreds for a movie." (Satire)

Jun 11, 2020

Senator Kelly Condemns Mutant Protestors That Attacked The Robots Sent To Kill Them

“Yes, when it comes to Sentinels there are a few bad apples in the bunch, but I don’t know the rest of that expression.” (Satire)

May 19, 2020

DC Announces New Director For The Snyder Cut

We have word from Warner Bros that the Snyder Cut of Justice League will indeed be released, with a new director at the helm. (Satire)

May 13, 2020

New Mutants Cast Reunites to Celebrate 20 Years of Movie Not Being Released Yet

“I guess this might come out sometime,” said the official Marvel Entertainment Twitter account. (Satire)

May 2, 2020

My Dinner With Deathstroke

Intrepid journalist Jimmy Olsen sits down with Mr. Stroke to discuss his recent career moves. (Satire)